If you’re a woman, and you didn’t offer to pay for the last date you went on, then shame on you. You should have.
A friend of mine (who’s saving to get on the London property ladder – good luck) recently complained that he didn’t want to plan any dates in the near future because it’s costing him too much. ‘I end up taking these girls out, always end up spending at least £100 once dinner and drinks are included. It’s not fair.’
I agree with him.
Dating is different now. Gone are the days where women were courted by men over a period of months in a somewhat romantic old fashioned manner. A huge percentage of hook ups are now arranged via online dating and Tinder, both of which are based on a mutual attraction and agreement to meet up.
This doesn’t necessarily mean chivalry is dead, of course some men will still always offer to foot the billl, but never should a woman expect this and let them part with their hard earned cash so easily. He should respect you for it. Plus this is the 21st century, where somewhat of a welcomed feminist revolution is taking place. Not expecting to pay at least your share is laughing in the face of equality.
It also isn’t enough to go for the theatrical but half-hearted grab for your purse. ‘Please, let me pay’, you should say, with sincerity. Only when the man insists, should you retreat and allow him to pick up the bill, there’s no need to argue, however offering to pick up the tab for cocktails, or for a future meeting should always be followed up and carried through.
Obviously not all dates are a dinner situation, but the same rule applies in a bar; drinks should be bought in rounds, with each person alternating in going to the bar.
Offering to pay will also lessen the chance of any awkwardness or guilt on your part if you don’t end up falling for the man in question. It’s not exactly fair to allow a guy to fund your night out when you have no interest in seeing him again.
So go on your dates and enjoy yourself, you can still be wined and dined and romanced, just be polite – that’s all it comes down to.
These days there’s no reason why a man should be expected to pay for everything. So ladies, stop abusing this outdated assumption.