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The 10 Quickie Commandments

08 Nov
The 10 Quickie Commandments

Orgasm

Got time to squeeze in a raunchy rendezvous with your man? Here are a few reminders to keep in mind. 

By Amanda Raylo

1. Thou shall not ditch the condom.

We know you just want to rip each other’s clothes off, but safety first, ALWAYS. Unless you’re on the pill or on some other type of contraception (AND monogamous!) DO NOT have sex without a condom.

2. Thou shall not fake an orgasm.

It’s okay if you don’t finish during your quickie. It normally takes a while for many women to get there, so don’t feel pressured to fake it; you’re just cheating yourself. 

3. Thou shall not have sex in front of other people, even if you’re super horny.

If you managed to find a secluded corner or a vacant bathroom, by all means go for it. But if you get turned on in a restaurant full of people and have the sudden urge to get frisky, save it for later, please. People are trying to eat.

4. Thou shall not make animal noises if you’re doing it in a public place.

Try to stifle your moans so that you don’t scare away the children. They might think a cat is dying or something. Also, it will totally give away your hideout.

5. Thou shall not run away like a crazy person if caught.

You’re adults, not children. If you get caught by a security guard or God forbid, your parents, own up to your actions. Yes, it will definitely be awkward, but at least you’ll learn to be more careful next time.

6. Thou shall not waste time with too much foreplay.

You have like what, 5-10 minutes? Save the foreplay for another day and just get straight to the deed. If you’re having trouble getting wet, a little K-Y Jelly will help.

7. Thou shall not do it in unsanitary conditions.

Dusty storage rooms, dirty bathrooms, and wet floors are breeding grounds for bacteria. You don’t want little critters crawling up your privates, do you?

8. Thou shall not be afraid to experiment with positions.

You have to adapt to your environment. Now’s the perfect opportunity to try that Cosmo Sutra position you’ve always been curious about.

9. Thou shall not hesitate to take the lead.

Don’t be shy to unleash your inner seductress. Trust us, your guy will be so turned on by it.

10. Thou shall not forget to pee right after.

UTI is a bitch. Save yourself from the hassle.

 
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Posted by on November 8, 2014 in Sex & Relationship

 

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