By Chris Hart
Once upon a time, women had scarcely any power in marriage. Men ruled at home, and got up to all sorts of mischief everywhere else. But times have changed. Now that women are earning real money, their influence in relationships has grown.
And so marriage has had to change. Modern men have learned to like their women strong and feisty. They’ve begun to enjoy cooking meals and looking after the kids. Working out together. Encouraging her career dreams. Being more emotionally intimate, respectful, caring, devoted, and supportive.
Does that sound too good to be true? Yes it is! That’s because half of all marriages still end in divorce — and women still initiate most of them, dumping men who are faithful, attentive and respectful.
WHAT WOMEN WANT
It’s weird. These women know that their husbands are exactly the sort of men women have always dreamt of. They just don’t want to be married to them any more. Why not?
For years, all the experts have argued that there should be more equality in relationships. But what women really want is more complex. Yes, they love being with a man who is open and intimate. But deep down they also want him to be a winner among men. To protect and provide for her and for her family. And they want the excitement that only the bad guys can provide…
And so women are leaving those lovely modern men who do housework, and are going instead for more traditional, masculine men.
FLAT SEX LIFE
It doesn’t help that when guys help with the things most women say they want them to do like household chores then the couple’s sex life generally goes flat. Somehow, wives are happier in bed when the division of labour goes along more traditional lines. While guys doing girls chores turns couples off.
OK, I know women like their husbands helping with the housework. And maybe a few women really do think that their husband’s sexy doing the ironing. But not many. Most women go weak at the knees when he shows his muscles and gets sweaty. But not when he’s washing clothes.
What makes for good relationships doesn’t necessarily drive lust. In fact, we’re generally turned on at night by the exact same things that we’d hate during the day. Taking charge in bed? Great! Next morning you’ll say that’s controlling.
So it seems like the sexes are not as interchangeable as they seem. The fewer gender differences there are in your marriage, the less desire you’ll feel. You might be best friends, but the sex will be lifeless.
Clearly, husbands should help their wives — and wives their husbands. But there’s a balance to be struck! And it’s not easy. Being vulnerable and nurturing is hard to blend with the strength, independence and power required outside the home.
So it may go against your feminist principles, but you’ll have more fun in bed — and a stronger marriage — if you encourage your husband to be a man! –Sunday Nation, Image from Internet